Surround Yourself with the Right People

Leveraging your best and ditching the rest can apply to ditching those friends that do nothing for your growth or happiness. Some friends might help you grow spiritually or emotionally but are not friends you would hang out with for lunch, but I think it is important that your relationships be positive.

So what would you do if you had one of those friends that was draining, judging you or generally being a negative drag on your life? I bet you most of us would not have the courage to let them know and "break up with them".

This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine that "broke up" with me and it is only now that I realize the courage it must have taken to do that. This was someone I had been friends with in college, we were roommates and had stayed friends after college and had been bridesmaids at each other's weddings some seven years out of college. She was another sister. She knew my mom, my sister and all my brothers and was expected at all family gatherings when she was not with her own family as was the case for me. Pretty close, right?

So you can imagine how shocked I was when we were out for drinks and there were these awkward silences. Almost at pains to find words to "let me down gently" until she finally came out and said she just didn't think we could be friends anymore. Me, this well rounded, balanced, succesfull friend that wished her nothing but the best? But she felt judged, imperfect and like a total screw up because my life seemed so "perfect" in comparison to hers and she had decided she wanted to hang around other people that had "real life problems" and struggles just like she did.

That day was the end of one relationship and the beginning of another. If we came out at the end of the night with a new code that worked for both of us, great, otherwise, this was the end of the relationship. My life was not perfect, but how astonishing that it was being perceived by her, as such.  How annoying for someone who is struggling to be hearing about all the wonderful, amazing things in your life and you not having any sense at all of what they are going through.

How liberating it must have felt for her to get this off her chest. Something to the effect "Our relationship is not working out for me and I know we have been through a lot together but I feel like I need to move on." WoW. I can confess to have never said that to a friend, but I applaud the people that have and let loose baggage that is tying them down. My personal remedy for bad friends is to quietly slink away and hopefully over time they will get it. I think it would be a friend you really cared about that you wouldn't just avoid.

I am still friends with my friend that "ditched me" but we have new ground rules about honesty and sharing. She has also surrounded herself with more people that meet her needs and I say kuddos to her!