Business Lessons from Raising Triplets - Part 1

I joke that having triplets is my claim to fame, but in a way it's true. It gets a lot of attention. Far less now that they are getting bigger but when they were babies and I had the triple stroller, the three baby carriers and the small army that travelled with me, it was hard to miss us.

Without even knowing it I leant some valuable life lessons:

1. Take care of one at a time

As I was trying to make three screaming kids happy and running around from one to the other, picking them up for a minute then putting them down and hoping that their minute of attention would make them stop crying it dawned on me there must be another way. And there was. Meet the needs of one child and then move on to the next. I was going crazy trying to pacify 3 children in the hopes of making everyone happy and I was making no one happy. So pick one child up, give them your undivided attention and figure out what they need and once that is satisfied, move on to the next child. I can hear your objections, how can I focus with 2 other kids screaming in my ear, what if I can't make the first one be quiet .. and on and on the list of doubts and excuses could go. So it is in the real world. It would probably only take you a second to list the multiple different things you are trying to do right now. But if you really want to get something done, pick one and get it done.

2. Get busy doing, not busy planning to do

The beauty of having to look after triplets is that you rarely have leisure time to debate and mull over your plans and write them down, then type them up, frame them ... You could spend your life's work just finding ways of avoiding doing what you are planning to do. We are masterful at this. So much so, that we do it without even realizing it. My goals were pretty simple when they were babies: feed em, clean em, put em to bed! How hard could this be? Not that hard when you are motivated. My motivation was survival. What is yours and what is the concise simple version of your goals?

3. Stick to the schedule

I came in the door as a master scheduler so this one came as naturally as breathing. The schedule was always out on the table in plain view of anyone helping to look after the kids. In fact I planned when people could come help based on the schedule. The most exciting times were feeding and that happened like clock work every 3 hours proceeded by a diaper change and followed by a nap. No excuses and no deviations. In fact my kids were on this schedule for years. It brought a sense of calm, order and peace in what otherwise would have been a chaotic madhouse.

4. Time out is a valuable tool

Take a deep breath, excuse yourself and leave the room. The time out I am referring to is not for the child, but for the adult. There are days I came pretty close to wanting to inflicting pain to my precious beautiful kids! There are some days I lost it and I would have, had I not left the room. It is not possible to think rationally when you are emotional. Telling a child to calm down might be useful but teaching them to calm down is better. The same goes for the adult. Find a quiet spot and find a way to return to that serene calm self that you know yourself to be where you are not reacting to someone else's drama.

I will leave you with these for this week, because as I started blogging I realized that my list was getting too long for one blog. So stay tuned in for next weeks list and in the meantime send me your business or life lessons from an unexpected event.

Surround Yourself with the Right People

Leveraging your best and ditching the rest can apply to ditching those friends that do nothing for your growth or happiness. Some friends might help you grow spiritually or emotionally but are not friends you would hang out with for lunch, but I think it is important that your relationships be positive.

So what would you do if you had one of those friends that was draining, judging you or generally being a negative drag on your life? I bet you most of us would not have the courage to let them know and "break up with them".

This blog is dedicated to a friend of mine that "broke up" with me and it is only now that I realize the courage it must have taken to do that. This was someone I had been friends with in college, we were roommates and had stayed friends after college and had been bridesmaids at each other's weddings some seven years out of college. She was another sister. She knew my mom, my sister and all my brothers and was expected at all family gatherings when she was not with her own family as was the case for me. Pretty close, right?

So you can imagine how shocked I was when we were out for drinks and there were these awkward silences. Almost at pains to find words to "let me down gently" until she finally came out and said she just didn't think we could be friends anymore. Me, this well rounded, balanced, succesfull friend that wished her nothing but the best? But she felt judged, imperfect and like a total screw up because my life seemed so "perfect" in comparison to hers and she had decided she wanted to hang around other people that had "real life problems" and struggles just like she did.

That day was the end of one relationship and the beginning of another. If we came out at the end of the night with a new code that worked for both of us, great, otherwise, this was the end of the relationship. My life was not perfect, but how astonishing that it was being perceived by her, as such.  How annoying for someone who is struggling to be hearing about all the wonderful, amazing things in your life and you not having any sense at all of what they are going through.

How liberating it must have felt for her to get this off her chest. Something to the effect "Our relationship is not working out for me and I know we have been through a lot together but I feel like I need to move on." WoW. I can confess to have never said that to a friend, but I applaud the people that have and let loose baggage that is tying them down. My personal remedy for bad friends is to quietly slink away and hopefully over time they will get it. I think it would be a friend you really cared about that you wouldn't just avoid.

I am still friends with my friend that "ditched me" but we have new ground rules about honesty and sharing. She has also surrounded herself with more people that meet her needs and I say kuddos to her!

Leave nothing in the tank!

I have a new found passion. I love spinning (indoor cycling). When I think about it, it's not a new passion at all. I liked it from the first day I did it. I stop going every now and then because, let's face it, life can get a little crazy. Anyway, I am back in class these days spinning like a lab rat. When I am in these classes I sometimes find myself getting dissatisfied, and mostly with myself. I feel like I could push myself more, I could work harder but I never do. I also know I have very strong legs and I could leg press with the best of them but they are not doing me any good in the spinning class.

It dawned on me why. I was afraid. On the micro level I was afraid of getting too tired and not finishing the class but then I was getting upset at the end of the class because I did not give it all I had. Hmmm. I was afraid of failure, because that's what not finishing the class would mean, but I was failing anyway by not getting what I could from the class.

So I made a few adjustments. I moved to the front of the class, where I feel most motivated, I "shopped" around for the instructor that I liked best and I started pushing myself more than I ever have before. When the instructor said add resistance, guess what, I cranked it up. I now leave that class feeling like I left nothing in the tank and it's a blast! The amazing thing is that I never have to worry about having an empty tank for too long as I walk into each class with a full tank of energy and motivation doing something I enjoy.

What are you struggling to push yourself with and what changes could you make to get yourself revving?

Meditation: Frees you up to ...

Meditation has freed me up to
... have clearer thinking
... be focused when I need to be
... enjoy this moment that I am in

So we have come full circle. Through meditation I have a focus and clarity of thought that allows me to sit down and map out my future, take care of my torelerances and enjoy the littlest things in life.